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November 15, 2005

Being Aware of Prematurity

A year ago I didn't even know that Prematurity Awareness Day existed and now here I sit, with my precious baby girl resting in my lap making goos, gaas and oogahs at me with her sweet little mouth. I look into her big blue eyes and I can say that I have witnessed a miracle.

I remember when my biggest worry was how many calories I would eat that day and whether or not my new pants in the smaller size would fit. It was all about me. My problems, my worries, what -I- would be doing today, tomorrow, next week. How certain events would effect my life, and what I wanted to accomplish. It was all about me me me.

Then I got pregnant, and at first it was still all about me because I was sick, and swollen, and emotional. The baby growing inside of me was more of a side effect of being pregnant, not the reality of my growing belly and ankles, my constant craving for blueberries or the tears that would flow each and every time a sappy long song came on the radio.

However, reality came crashing in on me when my water broke at 26 1/2 weeks - when I woke up covered in fluid that I could only hope was a bladder infection gone terribly wrong. And then seeing the worry in the nurses' faces as I entered the emergency room, the concern of the doctors as they told me I would spend the rest of my pregnancy in the hospital and that they hoped that I wouldn't go into labor in the next 12 hours. THAT my friends and family was reality.

Suddenly it was all about this little life inside of me, making sure she had a chance to live, giving her every opportunity to shine like the sweet spirit she is. Lots of crocheting, Gameshow Network (bless Richard Dawson!), phone calls and long talks with Paul and loads of tears got me through two weeks, and then here she was, this PERFECT, wonderous being and she was part me, part daddy and part miracle.

She has taught me so much about life, love and myself. I am truly blessed to be where I am in this life, and would trade it for NOTHING. I am so proud of my daughter and can't wait to tell the world about prematurity, remind them that not all mothers get to hold their babies right after they are born, and bring to light that the fight goes on each and every day.

We are blessed, each and every parent of a premature baby. Something a kind woman on the March of Dimes board said to me the day I first posted on their blog has resonated with me, that God chooses the parents of preemies very carefully.

Thank you for sharing in our little girl's life.

Posted by sam at November 15, 2005 01:36 PM in Sam rant

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